Be the change you want to see

in sickness

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 07:06:09 GMT

and in health

been a while

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 00:29:24 GMT

I'm still happy
I'm still strong
I'm still with him
I'm still here!

Somehow it all works itself out

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 01:48:18 GMT

i'm far from complaining about it but I just don't understand where I went wrong or who did me wrong. 'i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it. thats part of it all. thats the beauty of falling in love with you, is the fear you wont fall''' I miss you more than you know. I'm done.

no longer

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 02:43:53 GMT

Will I be visiting my lovely boyfriend
I'm stuck, in fucking California without his hugs
No amazing nights with him yet
No cuddle sessions with him yet
No nothing for two more weeks
fuuuuuuuhk this. I need him. Now, K?

5 DAAYYSS

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 00:05:09 GMT

Until i get to see my wonderful boyyfriend. I miss him more than words could ever explain =[
but in just 5 days i get to hug him and hold him for as long as i want. Not seeing him for a month has killed me inside but i've been strong and i keep telling myself that i get to see him soon. he's all i could ever ask for and more. everything i want and more. i think i'm a excited, right? haha

'i love the way you call me baby'

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 02:44:54 GMT

' If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cuz I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.'

On the 14th of September it was just one month. I'm never the girlfriend that counts the months and days till one more month has passed but with him, I count. Everything is falling perfectly into place. My grades are finally something to proud of and something I'm willing to show off. My boyyfriend treats me like i walk on water, I don't know why but he does and I'm not complaining. The only thing I have to honestly say something negative about is everyone's fucking attitude [meaning the girls] I wish some of them would just stop being so God damn apathetic and realize it's our senior year. This is the year we leave high school behind and where our lives really begin. High school isn't life and I just wish everyone would realize that also. Maybe I'm just being wistful.

the stress of it all

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 05:17:35 GMT

Is becoming harder and harder but he's completely worth it to me. Don't take this entry the wrong way because I am in no way saying anything regarding not wanting this anymore. @ ALL!! what i'm saying is yes, its hard but i love him and would honestly do anything to keep this as amazing as it is. Were perfect together and I can't get enough of it. It's amazing how one person can understand another person so much. after a tragic ending of a friendship i didnt think there would be anyone else who would 'get me' but he does =] i miss him, a lot!! i can't wait to be in his arms again and for him to pick me up. i really can't wait.

happiness

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 17:28:24 GMT

It seems that I've found my happy medium. The person I think of when I wake up every morning.

Your taste is my attention

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 06:54:29 GMT

"So I know nothing of your taste
and now speak up, louder.
It's in your lips, I found.
Come on, just press against me
I finally have your attention,
so listen closer, sweetheart.
I've been trying to tell you, stay awake.

And no, no, when we're safe here
Come back, come back, you stayed always.
Stay with me here

Stay with me and watch these cars go by,
and tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.

So watch as I go back
I just came to say that
you'll never see me again.
This clock is ours now, till morning.
So stay right there in that frame
This picture is how we speak.
You'll never see me again,
cause I miss you already.

And bear that you haven't seen me.
I don't belong in anything you dream,
in anything we dream.
She said "Put your hands back on my
skin and say you loved me,
cause I can't live like you do.
Never could."

Come on, just press against me.
You always have my attention,
and please speak up louder.
Make those lips move.

Come back on the weekend forever
cause you don't mean to shake like that
Come back on the weekend forever
Cause you don't mean to...

Stay with me and I will try to tell you
Stay with me and I will try to tell you

So watch as I go back
I just came to say that
you'll never see me again
This clock is ours now, till morning.
So stay right there in that frame
This picture is how we see you
You'll never see me again,
cause I miss you already."

The pieces of my life are falling into place for the most part
and I could not be more thankful for this summer and everything thats gone on
I have found the friends that will be here for the rest of my life and picked the weeds out of my life.
Senior year will be my best one, and honestly, I couldn't be more satisfied with how it's starting off
=]

this week

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 07:18:33 GMT

better God damn be the best damn week and a half of my life. hahahaa my mother was right, my expectations are always too high

For now,

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 08:29:32 GMT

EVERYTHING FITS :)

baby, you wouldn't last a minute

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 03:33:11 GMT

the love of my fucking life not to mention my other half a.k.a Izzy
through thick and thin, highs and lows, you've been there and i love you for more than life itself
you know me inside and out. better than i know myself and definitely better than you know yourself

I LOVE YOU BEST FRIEND. 4 YEARS AND COUNTING BABY. 4 YEARS AND COUNTING.

lately, i've been feeling very content. i can't find anything to honestly complain about :) i know, i sound completely selfish and childish but i honestly can't. its fucking amazing knowing my life has lived up to my overly high standards. on a much more depressing not, my parents told me @ dinner last week that they thought i was going to be a bad parent. they tried to justity by saying "we didn't mean it in a bad way, we just think you expect too much of people. you're standards are too high brittni. you're going to be one of those parents that pushes their kid over the edge from pressure." ahahaha i laughed and said i know. because i honestly do know and it was amazing i handled it so well because even though i knew that in my heart already i was still offended. my mom made one comment though that warmed my heart. she said, in her exact words, "you're going to be an amazing mother just not an amazing parent. i cant tell because of how you are with Mckenzie." [Mckenzie is my 4 year old prima] i treat that child like she walks on water. she'll always have a little piece of my heart.

lately..

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 05:33:30 GMT

<sub>I've been getting this feeling of security and it's halarious to me considering the only security i have is a roof over my head for my last year of high school and the first two years of college. I have no relationship security or friendship security for that matter. Too many people have turned their backs on me this past year and some have come crawling back but only a select few have been let back into my life. Yeah, i hold grudges, so what? @least i'm not a push over. If you fuck me over the last thing im going to be is a push over. Many people have learned that the hard way and many people are still learning from their mistakes. I let one friend in paticular back into my life recently, and temporarily. There's someone in this persons life that doesnt approve of me, which i'm fine with, but @ the same time i can't help but get irritated over. my general mood lately is being nostalgic because i want to go back to when everything was simpler and easily understood. Such as school, social affairs, and guys. Guys was always so simple until sophmore year. Then, everyone became so serious and the new and still current trend is to be serious and not fuck around. whatever happened to telling someone you have a crush on them and the moment you held hands you were delcared a couple? Back then it was so much easier to deal with those situations. Now it's all about making it last and being complete forward about your feelings and saying "I LOVE YOU" and meaning it. 100%, whole heartedly, body and soul meaning it. I'm rambling and i should stop. To conclude this I would just like to say that, for the record, I have THREE best friends and ONLY THREE best friends. The girls that have stuck by my side through thick and thin and i wouldn't trade for finding true love or finding the 20million dollar lottery ticket. They're mine and always will be. Dani, Corina, Amye, I LOVE YOU GIRLS with everyone inch of my heart. Next i would like to say that I'm a little confused to how i feel about letting people in and putting down that wall that has taken me 17 years of my life to build up. "You came into my life and took me by suprise. Now, my wall is torn down." Lastly, i'm sorry. You probably won't read this but I am sorry and i've always loved you. Not always in the way you wanted me to @ times but as my friend. I care, i promise i do, i always have and always will. I highly doubt you're ever going to see this entry or my livejournal @ all for that matter but knowing I have your friendship back means more than the world to me. I hate you more and more with every breathe i took but i came to my sense realizing that if you could have courage, i could too.

coming to the realization

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 19:18:13 GMT

that my last journal entry was a bit intense but i could honestly care less weather or not it was too much for you to take in or not :) well, i've come to the conclusion my life is completely centered around IRONY and i've also come to the conlusion i hate that. i meet someone with everything i look for in someone and nothing can happen even we both wanted it to. whatever, i'm over this whole situation. not the actual person but the situation, yes i'm over that. FUCK IRONY. FUCK CLASS. AND PRETTY MUCH SCREW MY LOVE LIFE AND EVERYONE ELSE'S. have a nice day :)

ba ha ha

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 03:28:14 GMT

TONIGHT BEEEZZYY

7/16

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 02:53:57 GMT

excited, anxious, nauseated, happy AND all @once haha i didnt even fuckin know that was possible but clearly since im feeling this way, it is! oh joy. on a serious note i am excited :D funn night ahead

mmm

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 23:46:24 GMT

1 7! & still young

end of the beginnig

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 20:12:17 GMT

im starting to care
i want that one real "relationship" people have
havent had one at all yet but im starting to look
its been 5 months since i've honestly liked someone
things might be starting to pick though. who knows.

i aspire to be

Tue, 22 May 2007 04:28:13 GMT

much more than i am
alot more like her
l
l
l
V

promizzzle

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 05:45:44 GMT

was bombizzzle!!!!!! hahaha
pictures soon : )

i dont know, i dont care

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 05:58:35 GMT

i think i want my life to turn around for the better
i know i want more out of my life
i think i want to give it up completely
i know i dont have the strength to live without it
i think i would be lost without it
i know i would be without an indenity for a long time
because its been my life for so long

i know i like a boy
i think he likes me
i know i want to know him and what he likes & dislikes
i think we would be good
i know he's funny
i think he's sweet
i know i want him
because when i see him, my palms start to sweat and my hands start to shake

i think i need to start taking charge of my life, soon!

list of things to do:
1) Do better in school [cough*psychology and math*cough]
2) Pick up prom dress tomorrow
3) Get curling iron from corinna
4) Talk to him<3
5) Talk to him<3
6) Figure out what im doing with my hair for prom
7) Eyebrows threaded
8) Buy eyeshadow
9) Buy a purse
10) PROM!!

i have so much more to accomplish before saturday morning but i cant think straight and remember everything
so im going to give up now and go to bed because im physically, just completely worn out as of this moment ! !
i have testing this week so i guess a good nights sleep would be good for me just this one time, yeah?
BUH-BYE!!

the new me

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 04:42:28 GMT

is finally here and ready to be unleashed haha :]
i have new hair color but real hair baby!! aaaaaall natural (no extensions here)

its not black its dark brown but the brown is SO dark that it makes it look black
it will fade in about two weeks so by prom it should look pretty damn good!! haaah

currently: IM SICK :[
i dont want to be sick but i am & it was completely unexpected!
one minute i was my happy-go-lucky self the next minute i couldnt stop sneezing
and by midnight on sunday night i was completely miserable beyond belief
at first i thought it was just my allergies acting up again because it was extremely windy
but i was pretty much wrong. God hates me i guess and doesnt want my prom to go well
hahaha juuuuust kidding i think he LOVES me because he sure is letting everything
else go well with me right now<3

i have something

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 04:06:50 GMT

for someone . . .
being single was in
now being single is out
i dont to be anymore

obsessions

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:47:50 GMT

very few
but they're definately there

[mainly dragonfruit flavor]

will be update later

spring break

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:32:20 GMT

so far its been going pretty good i suppose
theres not really anything to complain about yet
friday night i didnt do much at all just sat on my ass
saturday morning/afternoon i had i games and then i got pretty messed up
i threw up three times which has got to be the most embarassing thing
im not one to go and get drunk like that. actually, i rarely ever get that fucked up
i hooked up with one of my ex's which was a huge mistake on my part
but i was drunk.
thats my story and my sticking to it : ]
corinna beat my record of 3 times in one night muahahaha
finally! its about freakin time someones beat that record. i mean gawsh damn its not that hard! haha
well i might pick up my prom dress today because it finally came in
(back of the dress)

(front of the dress)

im excited.