8/8/07 10:15 pm - lately..
<sub>I've been getting this feeling of security and it's halarious to me considering the only security i have is a roof over my head for my last year of high school and the first two years of college. I have no relationship security or friendship security for that matter. Too many people have turned their backs on me this past year and some have come crawling back but only a select few have been let back into my life. Yeah, i hold grudges, so what? @least i'm not a push over. If you fuck me over the last thing im going to be is a push over. Many people have learned that the hard way and many people are still learning from their mistakes. I let one friend in paticular back into my life recently, and temporarily. There's someone in this persons life that doesnt approve of me, which i'm fine with, but @ the same time i can't help but get irritated over. my general mood lately is being nostalgic because i want to go back to when everything was simpler and easily understood. Such as school, social affairs, and guys. Guys was always so simple until sophmore year. Then, everyone became so serious and the new and still current trend is to be serious and not fuck around. whatever happened to telling someone you have a crush on them and the moment you held hands you were delcared a couple? Back then it was so much easier to deal with those situations. Now it's all about making it last and being complete forward about your feelings and saying "I LOVE YOU" and meaning it. 100%, whole heartedly, body and soul meaning it. I'm rambling and i should stop. To conclude this I would just like to say that, for the record, I have THREE best friends and ONLY THREE best friends. The girls that have stuck by my side through thick and thin and i wouldn't trade for finding true love or finding the 20million dollar lottery ticket. They're mine and always will be. Dani, Corina, Amye, I LOVE YOU GIRLS with everyone inch of my heart. Next i would like to say that I'm a little confused to how i feel about letting people in and putting down that wall that has taken me 17 years of my life to build up. "You came into my life and took me by suprise. Now, my wall is torn down." Lastly, i'm sorry. You probably won't read this but I am sorry and i've always loved you. Not always in the way you wanted me to @ times but as my friend. I care, i promise i do, i always have and always will. I highly doubt you're ever going to see this entry or my livejournal @ all for that matter but knowing I have your friendship back means more than the world to me. I hate you more and more with every breathe i took but i came to my sense realizing that if you could have courage, i could too.
sleepy
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
keeeekz's journal
bouncy
apathetic
cynical
anxious
amused
happy
giddy
uncomfortable